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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27164356">Something Wicked this way CUMS</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BangBangBeefKeef/pseuds/Bang%20Bang%20Beef%20Keef'>Bang Bang Beef Keef (BangBangBeefKeef)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Ass to Mouth, Blow Jobs, Bottom Keith (Voltron), Creampie, Cum Play, Ex Sex, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Happy Ending, Haunted Houses, Hijinks &amp; Shenanigans, Keith and Lance are exes, Keith goes through a haunted house Lance works at, Keithtober 2020, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Top Lance (Voltron), keith's birthday</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:34:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,743</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27164356</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BangBangBeefKeef/pseuds/Bang%20Bang%20Beef%20Keef</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lance is getting bored working at a haunted house. Too much of the same over and over, until his ex comes through. He's motivated to give Keith an extra scary (and sexy) experience.</p><p>Alternate titles:<br/>My BOOfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble!<br/>CREAM Queen<br/>Night of the Living BRED</p><p>Excerpt:</p><p>On some level, Lance knows every piece of this is wrong. Sex with the ex is already cursed, but rawdogging his ex between the walls of a haunted house when he’s supposed to be working is the ultimate level of cursed.</p><p>Forget seven years of bad luck. For this, he’s looking at at least seventy. He might not make it out of this curse alive, but when he’s ninety and on his deathbed, he won’t be regretting the decades of misfortune that have befallen him. No, he’ll just still be dreaming about being nice and snug inside Keith’s perfect ass.</p><p>***Now featuring art by @SamSparrowArt!!***</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Keith/Lance (Voltron)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>517</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Klance: Into the Multiverse, Klasix Master Collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Something Wicked this way CUMS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Keithtober with the DWDK prompt "wicked ghost."</p><p>This fic now features art by SamSparrow! Please check him out on twitter and instagram @SamSparrowArt</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>“I heard this site is actually haunted by the ghost of a man who died of a heart attack last year on Halloween.”</p><p>“That’s just a rumour,” says Keith, stepping forward as the line ahead of him moves.</p><p>Pidge hops off the guardrail to follow him up. “Dismissing it as a rumour is what a sheeple would do.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t the singular of sheeple be sherpson?”</p><p>“Is it important?”</p><p>Keith shrugs. “Well, this amusement park isn’t listed on hauntedincolorado.com.”</p><p>Pidge snorts. “Who are you going to believe? Me? Or Big Ghost Hunter?”</p><p>“Probably I’m going to believe my own eyes,” says Keith.</p><p>Pidge nods their approval. They step up in line again and have two clipboards shoved at them from a staff member.</p><p>“Welcome to Gore Manor,” says the woman dressed as Carrie. “Please carefully read through this waiver. Initial beside the declaration of health conditions.” Pidge gives Keith the side eye. “Also initial beside the consent to be touched then sign after the bottom. Hand it and your tickets over when you reach the front of the line.”</p><p>Pidge takes their time reading through the document while Keith skips to the parts he has to sign and initial.</p><p>“Are you seriously reading the terms of service?” asks Keith.</p><p>“Yeah,” says Pidge. “I wanna make sure I’m not giving away my power of Attorney. You know they hide clauses where you agree to have your likeness or liver sold for profit.”</p><p>Keith shrugs. “I guess it’s too late for my likeness and liver now.”</p><p>“I feel bad for them getting your mullet,” says Pidge. They finish reading and add their initials and signature by the time they reach the front of line.</p><p>“Waivers and tickets,” says the staff member dressed as Slender Man.</p><p>They hand over their waivers, but Slender Man holds up his hand when they present their tickets. “The fifty-percent tickets apply only if you’re wearing a costume.”</p><p>“Dude,” says Keith, unzipping his hoodie to reveal the skeleton rib shirt underneath.</p><p>Pidge pulls down their plastic mask that’s a skull with a pair of easter bunny ears pasted on.</p><p>“I’m sorry, but who are you supposed to be?”</p><p>“We’re Donnie Darko,” says Keith.</p><p>“Collectively?”</p><p>“He’s Donnie, I’m Frank,” says Pidge.</p><p>“I don’t know who that is.”</p><p>“Ugh. Uncultured Youths,” sighs Pidge, despite Slender Man looking to be at least five years their senior. But then, Keith and Pidge have older siblings that exposed them to the true horror classics, giving them a more refined taste than their peers.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Whatever,” says Slender Man. He grabs a couple flashlights out of a bin and hands them to Pidge and Keith. “Go ahead.” He looks past them and yells, “Next group!”</p><p>Pidge skips ahead then turns to walk backwards. They hook a finger in Keith’s direction. “Follow me into the future…”</p><p>Keith smirks and follows. This should be fun. Likely not scary, but fun and a welcome distraction from all the shit going on inside Keith’s head.</p><p>The first part of the attraction is a long wooden bridge crossing foggy waters that leads to the actual structure of the manor. There’s a light in the fog up ahead. As the fog clears, they see a fisherman, bloodied and holding onto the rail as if he’ll collapse if he lets go.</p><p>“No, no, no!” he screams when he sees them walking towards him. “Turn back! Save yourselves!”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” says Pidge, strolling right by him.</p><p>“Fools!” bellows the fisherman once they’ve passed him.</p><p>“Like I’m gonna take advice from a ginger,” chuckles Pidge.</p><p>“Name that track,” says Keith, pointing up at one of the speakers playing a horror movie score at high volume.</p><p>“Oh,” says Pidge, pondering. “This is from 1986’s Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer.”</p><p>“Yep. That’s it.”</p><p>The reach the end of the long bridge as the wood gives way to a dirt path lined with bones. </p><p>“Need to hold my hand?” asks Pidge as they walk up to the tall, wooden manor door.</p><p>Keith snorts. “Gimme a break.”</p><p>Pidge gives the door a good shove and it swings open. It’s dark inside so they flip on their flashlights and enter. Keith’s beam swings around, finding blood streaked walls in the foyer. There are tables with skulls along the walls and other body parts.</p><p>Movement.</p><p>Someone reaches to grab Keith from behind. He grabs their arm first, flips them and pins them down on the floor. This is when Keith takes in that his attacker is dressed as a zombie butler. Right… one of the cast.</p><p>“Keith!” snaps Pidge.</p><p>“What?” says Keith, holding the butler in place. “Waiver said I could touch them.”</p><p>“Waiver said they could touch you! As in grab your arm or your ankle!”</p><p>“Y-yeah that,” sputters the zombie butler.</p><p>“Oh,” says Keith, releasing him. “My mistake.” He steps back to off him a hand up.</p><p>************</p><p>Lance hears the next group enter. The prisoners in the cages begin to scream, run at the bars and rattle them as the ticket holders move past, crying out in shock over and over. When they reach the corner, he jumps out, making them scream.</p><p>“Finally new flesh to mold into my next creation,” he cackles. The ticket holders break to the sides, trying to escape him as he plunges forward. “Who will volunteer to ascend?”</p><p>His creations in their cages scream and howl.</p><p>He grabs at the ticket holders, letting anyone who he catches break free from his grasp. He then goes for the big guy at the back.</p><p>“You!” snarls Lance. </p><p>“No, no, no,” says the big guy, backing up. “I - I’m not even with this group! I got lost! I wanna leave!”</p><p>He continues to beg as Lance drags him to his vertical table and straps him there. He flips a switch and entire room flashes with the electric shocks administered. His victim cries out in pain then goes limp, dead.</p><p>The power restored, the old elevator door creaks open behind the remaining ticket holders. The spot this and bolt towards the elevator.</p><p>Lance strolls after them. “Wait, pretties, wait! Don’t you want to be next?”</p><p>They scream and scream as he approaches. He lashes out, narrowly missing the shutting doors that whisk them away to the second level.</p><p>“Reset,” says Lance, turning back to his laboratory. He goes to help Hunk unhook himself from the table, but he’s already freed himself with the safety latch.</p><p>Ezor coughs from her cage. “Anyone got a lozenge?”</p><p>“It is dry in here,” says Allura, leaning her arms out her cage.</p><p>“That or it’s the screaming,” says Rolo.</p><p>“If you want a break from shrieking, Ezor,” says Hunk, “you can slip in with the next group and I’ll take your cage.”</p><p>“Sweet! I’d love a turn,” says Ezor, whipping off her Bride of Frankenstein wig. Hunk and her trade places with Hunk going into the cage. Ezor sliding through the secret wall panel that’ll allow her to slip in with the next group at the bottom of the basement stairs.</p><p>“Oh, why don’t I ever get a turn being the plant?” whines Lance.</p><p>“Because you’re the Mad Scientist,” says Allura. “It’s the lead role in this section.” Her voice is the slightest bit bitter.</p><p>“I didn’t know I’d be in the same section for the entire month of October!” </p><p>“What did you think it would be like?” asks Hunk.</p><p>“I dunno. We’d show up each day and they’d hand out the roles. Variety is the spice of life.”</p><p>“That’s not how jobs work though,” says Allura.</p><p>“But this is supposed to be a fun job,” complains Lance. When Hunk had said He could hook them all up with jobs at the amusement park’s haunted house to make some extra cash this month, Lance had assumed it would be the best job ever and just the distraction he needed from his real life, but of course it wasn’t glamorous at all. “Who would’ve guessed that scaring five-hundred groups of people every single night for three weeks straight gets kinda boring.” </p><p>A SCREAM is heard from outside the room. That’s their cue.</p><p>“Speaking of which…” Lance slips back around the corner.</p><p>This time when he imposes himself on the ticket holders then chooses Ezor to be strapped to his table, he does so with a little less gusto than usual. The pair seems to sense it as neither seem that scared.</p><p>When the elevator doors close again, taking that pair all the way up to the second floor of Gore Manor, Lance pouts. “Something exciting needs to happen like right now!”</p><p>THUNK!</p><p>Everyone turns their gaze up to the ceiling.</p><p>“What was that?” asks Rolo.</p><p>“Sounded like someone passing out above us,” says Ezor as she unstraps herself from the table.</p><p>“Shit. What if someone had a heart attack as soon as they walked in?” asks Lance. “I better check.”</p><p>There’s a hidden ladder behind a curtain that leads to a hatch beside the Manor’s entrance. Lance scurries up this and lifts the hatch just enough to peek out into the dark hall. He’s alarmed to see someone has another cast member pinned to the ground. Who the fuck comes to a haunted house then attacks the -</p><p>“Oh my god,” says Lance, letting the panel close back into place and scurrying back down.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” asks Ezor. “It looks like you’ve seen ghost.”</p><p>“No, but I did just see my ex,” confesses Lance.</p><p>“Haha funny,” says Allura. “I am in a cage though so I’m not exactly a threat to you.”</p><p>“Nonono,” says Lance, heart racing. “Not you. Recent ex.”</p><p>“Lindsey? Chris? Lois?” asks Hunk. “Robbin? Madi? Abed?”</p><p>“No! The ex I actually liked,” says Lance.</p><p>“Ouch,” says Allura. “Standing right here.”</p><p>“Who did you actually like?” asks Hunk, confused.</p><p>“Keith!” says Lance.</p><p>“Keith?” repeats Hunk, puzzled. “I thought he was just the best sex.”</p><p>“Once again, ouch,” says Allura. </p><p>“I liked him and he was the best sex!” says Lance.</p><p>“Wow,” says Ezor. “Then why’d you break up?”</p><p>“Because I’m an idiot and I screwed things up.” He stops to think then a second later he’s whipping off his lab coat. “Hunk, cover for me!”</p><p>“What? Why? Where are you going?” asks Hunk.</p><p>“To mess with my ex obviously.” Lance pulls a white sheet off the lab counter to reveal the fake body parts underneath.  He uses his teeth to tear a small hole in the sheet.</p><p>“You can’t just go off and do that. You’re going to get fired,” says Hunk.</p><p>Lance rips a second small hole in the sheet then says, “Only if one of you tells on me.” He tosses his fake goggles over to Hunk then pulls the white sheet over his head, lining up the eyeholes with his eyes. “How do I look?”</p><p>“Terrible,” says Rolo.</p><p>“Not interested in your opinion,” says Lance, pointing… maybe at him, maybe not. It’s hard to see in this thing.</p><p>“What is your endgame here?” asks Allura.</p><p>“He used to brag all the time when we were together that he’s not scared of anything. I’m just going to give him a good spook and I’ll be back before you know it.”</p><p>“This is a bad idea!” says Ezor, cheerily.</p><p>Too late because Lance is already climbing up the ladder that’ll take him back up to the floor hatch. He double checks Keith’s not right near the hatch before opening it fully. </p><p>There’s a SCREAM signaling the next group is just outside.</p><p>“Ah! I don’t want to be the mad scientist!” cries Hunk. “I’m having a panicking!”</p><p>Lance hears Allura say, “Give me the lab coat and tag me in!”</p><p>Lance climbs out and shuts the hatch. He moves silently forward, seeing flashlight beams down the hall. Hopefully one belongs to Keith and Lance didn’t drop too far behind his group.</p><p>He makes it a few steps before he remembers something. He turns to see the grandfather clock begin to open. Lance puts a firm hand on it and shuts it again. </p><p>“Hey!” says the voice inside.</p><p>“Sorry, Ryan,” Lance mutters.</p><p>He must’ve been louder than he thought because a flashlight beam swings back his way. Lance dives behind the grandfather clock and presses himself to the wall to avoid getting caught by the light.</p><p>**********</p><p>“What is it?” asks Pidge.</p><p>Keith has stopped and is looking back. “I heard something.”</p><p>“Probably one of the actors slipping back into their hiding spots.”</p><p>“Maybe,” says Keith, though something’s nagging at him. Immediately he chastises himself. He’s not going to actually get freaked out by the atmosphere, is he? It’s tricking him into feeling like he’s being watched.</p><p>The entrance at the end of the hall swings open and they’re greeted by flashlight beams shining back at them. The next group has just entered, meaning they’re falling behind and moving too slow.</p><p>“C’mon,” says Pidge. “I don’t wanna go through the place with a bunch of rando screamers.”</p><p>Right on cue they all start screaming as the zombie butler jumps out at them (apparently fully recovered from Keith flipping him.) Keith turns forward. “Lets go.”</p><p>***********</p><p>When the coast is clear, Lance slips out from behind the grandfather clock. He notices it starting to open back up. He puts a hand firmly on it and says, “Still me, Ryan.”</p><p>“What are you some kind of ghost?” asks a voice behind him.</p><p>He turns to see a new group of ticket holders, one girl with a flashlight beam pointed directly at him. He can’t make her out until she drops it lower and he can see again. She’s dressed like Harley Quinn and she’s cute. Normally Lance would lose all focus and start flirting with her, but his brain stays on task for once.</p><p>His sheet flutters like a cape as he takes off down the hall.</p><p>“‘Kay, bye, Casper!” the girl calls out.</p><p>Messing with Keith should be easy because Lance knows this haunted house like the back of his ha- BANG!</p><p>Lance trips over his sheet and bashes into the wall. Horrified, he drops down and pretends to be an end table as two flashlight beams swing his way.</p><p>“That time I definitely heard something.” It’s Keith’s voice… the same raspy, soft one Lance hasn’t heard in months. It takes him back.</p><p>“You’re supposed to hear things,” says the other guy. “It puts you on edge, which I guess is successful in your case.”</p><p>There’s a SHRIEK that sends those flashlight beams away. Lance knows they just encountered the Grandma Biddy character from the parlour room. He stands and follows behind.</p><p>There are three different characters hidden in the dirty, cobweb ridden parlour. A Grandma, a nurse, and a gardener. Lance is able to follow behind without getting noticed as the other cast members jump out and grab at Keith and his companion.</p><p>Who is the little guy he’s with… Keith isn’t on a date, is he? He’d literally told Lance that he’d never love ano--</p><p>Laughter breaks into Lance’s thoughts. This guy is… laughing at the gardener swinging a shovel at him?</p><p>Suddenly Lance recognizes the laugh. That’s Keith’s best friend Pidge. Of course, he should’ve recognized them. This also means it’s not a date. Not that Lance would care if it was a date… It would just be weird to be that ex who crashes the date with someone new and that’s why Lance cares. And no other reasons.</p><p>“Either you have the worst aim ever or this is fake as fuck,” laughs Pidge.</p><p>“Sorry if you expected realism inside this amusement park attraction,” says Keith, heavy on the sarcasm in his signature way.</p><p>As Keith goes to pull Pidge away from the gardener. Lance sees an opportunity and juts forward to the space beside where his back is turned. There’s no flashlight pointed this way so it’s complete shadow and Lance is able to pass undetected by Keith. Or he could’ve if he truly wanted to be. As he slips by he brushes a hand lightly along Keith’s arm.</p><p>Keith turns, attention caught by the touch, but Lance has already escaped around the corner.</p><p>“What was that?” Lance can hear Keith from around the corner.</p><p>“What was what?” asks Pidge.</p><p>“Someone just passed by me and touched me.”</p><p>“That’s kinda everyone’s job here.”</p><p>“No, It wasn’t one of these actors it… Nevermind.”</p><p>“And you’re giving me a lecture on this being fake?”</p><p>“I said nevermind!” snaps Keith.</p><p>Rattled already, Keith? That was a bit too easy. Also, exhilarating. Lance’s heart is beating a mile a minute. Wait… it’s probably bad that he’s so thrilled by stalking his ex, right? Then again this is a haunted house and it is his job to touch and scare the ticket holders and so Lance plots his next ‘hit and run.’</p><p>Fortunately he knows every hidden shortcut in this whole haunted house and he’s going to use that to his advantage...</p><p>********</p><p>Keith and Pidge get through the parlour and end up in another long hallway. Unlike the first one, there’s no furniture in this hall and it looks like a straight shot to turn at the end. No doorways or furniture means no hiding spots for people to jump out from or hide under. Keith immediately doesn’t trust it.</p><p>“What are we thinking?” asks Pidge. “Fake walls?”</p><p>They don’t have to wait long as an arm darts out at them from inside the nearest picture frame. Keith grabs the wrist mid air before it touches him. He shines the flashlight right in the eyes of the eyes of the Victorian zombie woman who stands in the window sized wall cut out, framed by a gold frame.</p><p>“I’m thinking fake paintings.”</p><p>The woman hisses at the light then shrieks at him. Keith releases her arm and moves forward. Pidge and him each train their lights on the walls, ready to expose anyone hiding inside a “painting.” Keith can hear screams behind them and ahead of them. Other groups, getting taken by surprise. </p><p>“First person to scream, owes the other twenty bucks,” whispers Keith.</p><p>“Sounds good to me,” says Pidge. “I could use that twenty.”</p><p>“I’ve never screamed in a haunted house before and I’m not about to.”</p><p>“What about that time down in Orlando?”</p><p>“That was different! A spider landed on my arm!”</p><p>Keith stops in his tracks. His beam has found another painting, or rather another window posturing as a painting. This one contains not any kind of elaborate costumed figure, but someone simply wearing a white sheet with holes for the eyes, like a classic ghost costume.</p><p>They stand perfectly still, eyes meeting Keith’s own.</p><p>“Aren’t you going to attack me?” asks Keith.</p><p>The ghost doesn’t move and somehow that’s actually kinda creepy.</p><p>“Keith!” Pidge’s voice is already at the other end of the hall. How long has Keith been staring at this ghost.</p><p>It’s eyes… it’s eyes follow him as he moves.</p><p>He finally breaks eye contact and takes off at a jog down the hall. Unfortunately he forgets to check for other paintings and gets blindsided by a zombie in a bowler hat that swipes at him. He jumps to the side and slams into the wall. Luckily he bites back on the scream threatening to erupt from his lungs.</p><p>Pidge bursts out laughing.</p><p>Keith shakes it off and walks up to meet them.</p><p>“I’ve never seen you jump so high without immediately punching whoever scared you.”</p><p>“The ghost just threw me off, okay?”</p><p>“What ghost?”</p><p>“Nevermind.”</p><p>The next room is in the dining room. There are people covered in blood feasting on human body parts, sitting around a table. When Pidge and Keith enter, the diners grab at them and shriek and threaten to make them their next meal.</p><p>Keith gets distracted by the feeling of someone passing behind him again. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up just as he feels ghostly fingers dance across his lower back. He turns to see no one again though he thinks he sees a flutter of white in the dark.</p><p>The same thing happens in three more rooms. Light caresses stolen when something else is drawing Keith’s attention. He doesn’t know what to make of it.</p><p>“I think something’s stalking me,” admits Keith when they’re in the next hallway.</p><p>“Are you seeing an apparition, Donnie?” asks Pidge. “Can you see him right now?”</p><p>Keith actually looks around. “No… I don’t know. He might be here.”</p><p>“Looks like we’re going down,” says Pidge, drawing Keith’s attention forward again. There’s a set of stairs spiraling down into the dark and an only slightly less intimidating accessibility ramp across from that. “Should we do what every horror movie has taught us not to do and split up and each take one?”</p><p>Pidge starts pounding down the stairs, before Keith can answer them. There’s probably better scares on the stairs. He hears someone screaming, but it’s an actor not Pidge..</p><p>Keith turns and  starts down the ramp. There doesn’t seem to be anyone to jump out at him, yet he has a strange feeling he’s being watched.</p><p>He stops and turns around and looks back. There, standing at the top of the ramp, is the same ghost. Just standing there. Watching him.</p><p>“So what?” calls out Keith. “Are you assigned to me or something? My own personal scarer?”</p><p>The ghost turns and walks away.</p><p>“Hey!” Keith sprints back to the top of the ramp. He turns back to the hallway and nothing… Nothing until the next group comes around the corner. Harley Quinn leading the pack of her shaken up looking friends. They move in a herd, pressed together. Because of this Keith has to step back to make room for them. And only because of this, does his back press against what feels like the edge of a board. </p><p>He turns and feels along the edge that protrudes from the wall. It's a secret door that blends into the wall. It’s only noticeable because it wasn’t closed properly. Someone had been in a hurry. Perhaps a certain ghost...</p><p>Keith pulls the door open and slips into what is the tiniest stairway. Part of him wonders if he’s being lured into a new part of the attraction and this is all part of the place’s design, but the fact that inside it’s just plywood and a single light, no decor, convinces Keith he’s in a staff stairway. He definitely isn’t allowed in there, but that’s never stopped him before.</p><p>********</p><p>The stairwell brings Lance into one of the upstairs bedroom scenes. Ulaz is tied to the bed, with Nadia dressed as a Priest. Normally a violent exorcism would be happening in here, but there’s no ticket holders in the room so they’re just talking casually. </p><p>Because Lance enters from a staff shortcut, they stay out of character and just glance over with curiosity.</p><p>“Hey, who’s under there?” asks Nadia</p><p>“NooooOOOOooone,” says Lance, passing by.</p><p>“Oh hey Lance,” she answers, apparently recognizing his voice.</p><p>Lance crosses quickly to the door across the room. “If someone dressed as Donnie Darko asks if you’ve seen me, I was never here.”</p><p>“Sure. We don’t answer ticket holder questions anyway so…”</p><p>Is Lance being followed though? It’s Keith and he’s clever so it’s possible. But this is a lure, isn’t it? Lance wants to meet Keith on his own terms… if he can figure out what those terms are. To mess with him, right?</p><p>Lance ends up in the bathroom, running into a group of ticket holders on their way through the haunted house. The main attraction in here is the large shower and the silhouette of a man that appears to be peeling off his skin as he bathes. The way it’s lit it looks like a projection screen, but that’s to lure ticket holders into a sense of false security because right then an actor pulls back the curtain, covered in makeup that makes him look like he’s just muscle and bone.</p><p>Everyone standing around Lance, SCREAMS! Meanwhile Lance pulls up his sheet to show his face and says, “Blaytz, I need to borrow your shower,” while pushing inside behind the curtain.</p><p>“Lance, what the hell? Why would you need my shower.?</p><p>“I’m uh… covering for you. Yeah, go take a smoke break.”</p><p>“Okay…” says Blaytz. He’s suspicious of Lance, but he likes smoking more apparently because he slips out the side.</p><p>The nice thing about the shower set up is because it’s impossible to see outside of it without opening up the curtains, it does have a little security television playing an infrared feed of the room. Otherwise, how would the shower monster know where he has company?</p><p>To create the silhouette, there is also a bright light and a speaker playing the sound effect of a rusty sounding shower along with the usual horror music. It’s a lot of stimulation to be inside there, but Lance squints and turns his focus to the video surveillance.</p><p>He recognizes Keith when he sees him enter. He comes from the same direction Lance did, the opposite of how the haunted house flows. The quality of video is poor, but Lance knows the shape of his body which comes to stand before the shower.</p><p>The sheet is still hanging off Lance so Keith must know it’s ‘the ghost’ in there. Lance realizes now he really didn’t have a plan so what he does next is purely instinctual.</p><p>Slowly, he tugs the sheet off and lets it drop to the ground. The music playing is from a horror movie Lance hasn’t seen. It’s not inspiration, so instead he hums Mad World from the end of Donnie Darko. It gets Lance’s hips moving. He starts to sway, feeling the music he’s creating. </p><p>Just like that he feels this rush, realizing Keith is watching him, but has no idea it’s him behind the curtain. He runs his hands over his body, feeling build up of heat. Fuck, he might be a real life stalker if he’s into this… or is he into being watched himself?</p><p>*********</p><p> </p><p>This is confusing. </p><p>Some part of Keith had convinced himself he was on some sort of Donnie Darko-esque mission, possibly about to receive a message regarding the end of the world, but instead his ghost stalker is… dancing?</p><p>Not just dancing. Dirty dancing. Swaying small hips and running his hands over a lean body. </p><p>He doesn’t know what to think, especially when the ghost peels off his shirt. </p><p>Is he.. Stripping to a horror movie soundtrack?</p><p>The moment when Keith sees the silhouette of the pants being unbuttoned and one hand sliding down, he makes up his mind.</p><p>He’s going to fuck his ghost stalker.</p><p>********</p><p> </p><p>Lance gets too much into the groove. He kinda loses his place in time and space for a moment. Working inside a haunted house will do that to you. You’ll slip away from what is real. Start to believe you’re a character in a horror movie and pray you have a happy ending.</p><p>That’s why it’s terrifying when the curtain is pulled open. Then even more scary as Lance realizes Keith is about to see it’s him. </p><p>He’s grateful for the light momentarily blinding Keith so he’s able to bend down and grab his sheet. He puts it back on so hastily he doesn’t line up the eye holes right.</p><p>He expects Keith to fly into a rage. Demand to know exactly who Lance is and why he’s fucking with him so it’s a complete surprise when Keith doesn’t say a word, but drops down to his knees and sets down his flashlight.</p><p>What is he…? He wouldn’t…</p><p>Keith lifts up Lance’s sheet and runs his hands over the area Lance had just been petting.</p><p>Holy shit…</p><p>Keith yanks Lance’s pants down lower on his hips. Low enough that he can free Lance’s cock from his underwear and begin to stroke it.</p><p>Holy fucking shit…</p><p>Lance’s ex is the hugest fucking slut! </p><p>Like he’s just going to go down on some guy dressed as a ghost inside a haunted house?! And granted, this is probably exactly what turns Keith one most, but he has no fucking clue who Lance is and -</p><p>“Ahhh,” a tiny moan escapes Lance as he feels Keith’s hot, familiar mouth wrap around his rapidly hardening cock.</p><p>Wh-what was he upset about again?</p><p>Nothing. Absolutely nothing.</p><p>All thoughts leave Lance’s head as Keith begins to bob on his dick. </p><p>It’s gooood. It’s so goooood. No one has ever gone down on Lance like Keith. They way he owns his dick with his mouth, slurping and popping and stroking while massaging Lance’s balls with his free hand, there’s no matching it.</p><p>Lance’s knees are growing weak. With one giant leap of brain power, he reaches out and shuts off the light on the wall. Currently they are projecting the silhouette of a guy blowing a ghost and is not appropriate for any ticket holders coming through to see.</p><p>Another moan escapes Lance’s throat as he puts a hand on the back of Keith’s head, guiding him. Encouraging him to take as much dick as possible. Let it bump against the back of this throat if he dares.</p><p>He missed this. Missed this feeling so bad.</p><p>His fingers curl into Keith’s hair, feeling so familiar. Every neural connection that remembers the joy of being Keith’s lover lights up in his brain, flooding him with happiness. Happiness and pleasure.</p><p>He’s gonna nut… He’s gonna…</p><p>Lance panics and pulls Keith up to his feet because this suddenly feels wrong.</p><p>“Wait, wait, wait, it’s me! It’s me!” says Lance, pulling the sheet off of himself so he’s face to face with Keith finally.</p><p>Instead of a gasp at the reveal, Keith clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I fucking know, Lance. Even if I hadn’t regonices your silhouette, I definitely know how to recognize your dick. The two of us go way back.”</p><p>“Wa-wait,” stutters Lance, once again trying to wrap his head around the situation. “So you knew it was me and still decided to blow me?”</p><p>“More like I knew it was you and wanted to blow you.” Keith presses up against him, hands sliding down to cup Lance’s ass as he plants a simple kiss on his lips. “You go to all this trouble to seduce me and then it’s like you don’t know what to do with me.”</p><p>Lance cups Keith’s face and begins kissing him. He kisses him deep, rolling his tongue into his mouth. Only when he desperately needs a breath of air does he pull back, gasp, then say, “Oh, I know what to do with you.”</p><p>He takes Keith by the shoulders and turns him around, guides him to press against the wall. Keith’s breathing is coming quick and swallow, just like it does when he’s excited. Lance runs his hands down Keith’s sides, knowing his curves, his body… Everything familiar yet forbidden.</p><p>“I missed you,” mumbles Lance into Keith’s hair as he reaches around his front to unbuckle his belt. The confession slips out of him as naturally as an exhale, but the result of the admittance to himself is a bubbling sensation inside his chest.</p><p>Keith replies, “I missed -”</p><p>The curtain is pulled back, causing them both to freeze in the beam of someone’s flashlight. </p><p>“I...I don’t get it,” says the flashlight holder. “How is this scary?”</p><p>“It’s not!” says Lance. He remembers to tuck himself before darting forward and yanking the shower curtain back shut.</p><p>Then Keith starts to say the words Lance doesn’t want to hear, “Maybe we shouldn’t -”</p><p>“I know other places,” says Lance. </p><p>He grabs hold of Keith’s wrist and yanks him out the side of the shower. He runs straight into Blaytz returning from his smoke break.</p><p>Blaytz looks Lance up and down then asks, “Where’d your shirt go?”</p><p>“Uh, new character. I’m uh - a hulk.” Then he’s breezing past Blaytz with Keith in tow.</p><p>“Isn’t it THE Hulk, not a Hulk?” he calls after them. “Are you gonna get us sued?”</p><p>Lance pulls Keith into the hallway and they’re immediately jumped by a blood covered screaming man. Keith reacts by pushing Lance back and grabbing the man’s arm and twisting it behind his back. </p><p>“Keith!” snaps Lance. “He works here!”</p><p>“He jumps us, he loses an arm,” snarls Keith.</p><p>Right… because Lance’s ex is completely psycho. Fuck, why is that so hot?</p><p>“Sorry, Bob” Lance breaks the two apart and pulls Keith along, dodging the spots he knows other cast members are waiting to jump out of.</p><p>“In here,” says Lance, pulling back a black curtain that blends perfectly with the wall. </p><p>Keith slips into the small space and Lance follows him. This is a hidden passageway that lets cast members cross through quickly without having to walk the full maze of the second floor. Like the shortcuts in Ikea. Of course it’s only as wide as a doorway and the same depth too with a second curtain on the other side and solid walls on the other two sides.</p><p>“We should be alone for a bit,” says Lance.</p><p>“How long’s a bit?” asks Keith.</p><p>“Shorter than awhile?” says Lance, weakly. “It’s very possible one of my co-workers will be discovering us shortly.”</p><p>Keith grabs hold of Lance and pulls him into a kiss. </p><p>After a moment Lance pulls back and asks, “So that scenario doesn’t bother you?”</p><p>“I’m not the one who’s going to get fired for being horny so no, I don’t care, but you can decide for yourself.”</p><p>As if Lance could resist kissing Keith again. And again. Pressing him back against the wall and grinding his hips against his. </p><p>“I can do anything I want,” says Lance. “So can you.”</p><p>Keith practically purrs, recognizing the movie quote. “I missed your cock,” mumbles Keith, hands sliding into the small space between them and rubbing Lance right back to full hardness.</p><p>“You can be reunited with my cock.”</p><p>“You’re so cheesy,” says Keith, but he’s already turning away. He places his hands on the wall and Lance knows it’s his turn. </p><p>He’s happy. Happy to run his hands down Keith and continue unbuckling his belt. He tucks his hands in, runs them over Keith’s hard cock to assure himself that, yes, Keith is still fully attracted to him too.</p><p>He tugs down on Keith’s pants and briefs and drops down to the ground with them. He parts Keith’s cheeks and kisses and nuzzles there, listening to Keith’s little soft mews in reaction to his touch. Keith hikes up his shirt and hoodie, gripping it between his teeth to give Lance ease of access.</p><p>Lance’s kisses turn to licks, swiping his tongue across Keith’s pretty hole. He wants more of it. So much more of it. Wants inside of it. Takes his thumb and teases across it, using the slick of his spit to ease the motion as he vibrates over it.</p><p>“Ah, ah, Lance please… I want your cock.”</p><p>Lance rises up to stand because here is the dilemma. “I don’t, uh, do you have anything on you?”</p><p>“Oh…,” says Keith. “I didn’t bring…”</p><p>No condoms, no lube. That takes anal off the table, but there’s plenty else they can do.</p><p>“We can just -” says Lance at the same time Keith says, “I don’t mind, if you don’t.”</p><p>“What?” says Lance.</p><p>Keith looks back over his shoulder as he speaks and his pretty face captures Lance’s attention so that he almost misses what’s being said. Has to play it back in his head. “We weren’t using condoms when we were together and I haven’t been with anyone since.”</p><p>“You haven’t?” asks Lance, completely surprised by this. But then he realizes this is not the discussion that needs to be had right now. “I haven’t been with anyone else either.”</p><p>“Really?” asks Keith and he sounds skeptical.</p><p>“Well, I’ve kinda just been…” Sad… “missing this ass of yours.”</p><p>“Yeah?” says Keith, his mouth twisting up in a grin. He pushes his hips back to grind his ass against Lance’s cock as he says, “You wanna play with it?”</p><p>It’s more like Keith is playing with Lance. His cock gets perfectly slotted between those cheeks. The friction Keith creates by grinding his hips back reminds Lance of how close he’d already been to cumming when they were in the shower together.</p><p>“Give me some cum baby,” cooes Keith. “I need it to get wet for you.”</p><p>Lance nearly keels over from the sound of Keith’s dirty talk. He catches one hand on the wall then uses the other to jerk himself off. Within a few strokes he’s cumming directly on Keith’s pretty hole, leaving it all creamy and white. It looks so inviting, Lance pushes the head of his cock against it, but stops as Keith tenses up.</p><p>“Don’t be so eager, baby,” Keith warns him.</p><p>Lance was too high from his orgasm, he forgot they were only just beginning to fuck. He needs to stretch Keith out first, which he gladly does, dipping his fingers into his cum covered hole.</p><p>He’s tighter than usual, Lance notes. When they were together, they were having sex so often, he never felt like this. It gives him some hope that maybe Keith had really been abstaining, unable to move on just like Lance hadn’t been able too.</p><p>“Keith…,” Lance whispers, planting kisses against his hair. “Keith… can I have you now?”</p><p>“Yes,” breathes Keith. He reaches back to help guide Lance inside.</p><p>Lance moves slow. So much slower than his greedy dick wants to move, but he can feel Keith is much tighter than usual, even after being fingered. He’ll have to work hard to relax him.</p><p>“Baby, you feel so good. So good,” mutters Lance, sinking deeper in. </p><p>He’s got his hand gripped on Keith’s hip. His other arm curls across Keith’s collarbone to hold him possessively against him. Keith removes his hands from the wall and tucks them against himself, cupping Lance’s forearm. He grinds back, encouraging Lance to take him just a little deeper while setting a leisurely pace. </p><p>Keith lets his head roll back to rest against Lance’s shoulder. His mullet tickles just a bit and smells like the conditioner he’d bought Keith that should’ve run out in their three months apart. Had he bought more? Did he think of Lance when he did? Lance brushes that obsessive little thought away. He wants to live in this moment, not inside a hypothetical whipped up by his broken heart.</p><p>On some level, Lance knows every piece of this is wrong. Sex with the ex is already cursed, but rawdogging his ex between the walls of a haunted house when he’s supposed to be working is the ultimate level of cursed.</p><p>Forget seven years of bad luck. For this, he’s looking at at least seventy. He might not make it out of this curse alive, but when he’s ninety and on his deathbed, he won’t be regretting the decades of misfortune that have befallen him. No, he’ll just still be dreaming about being nice and snug inside Keith’s perfect ass.</p><p>The tight muscles have eased off now and Lance can feel Keith is that beautiful level of tightness. He fits so nice inside of him, like he belongs there.</p><p>“Harder now, please please please,” whines Keith.</p><p>Lance is more than ready to oblige. He draws back his hips and slams them forward. Keith gives out a small cry at the first initial shock and each resulting thrust earns him more moans. </p><p>How could have Lance forgotten how loud his Keith gets when he’s fucked this good? The public nature of this fuck would normally mean he’d cover his mouth with a hand or stuff his fingers inside Keiht’s mouth to quiet him down. However, the horror movie soundtracks are blasting and from every direction of the building there’s screaming. Keith’s sex sounds just blend right in.</p><p>A SHRIEK comes from right outside the curtain. “You’re going to fucking die! You’re going to fucking die!” screams one of the actors.</p><p>This should kill the mood, but instead Keith thrusts his ass back, taking over the pace.</p><p>What does it say about Keith that this is working for him? Also, what does it say about Lance that he’s totally into it too?</p><p>“You’d like that, huh?” whispers Lance. He reaches around to stroke Keith’s cock, getting a hiss of appreciation for Keith. “Like me to fuck you right into the grave.”</p><p>With that, Keith is a shuddering, clenching, cumming mess. He slows the roll of his hips, but Lance won’t let him go. He’s not finished with him. Won’t give him a second to recover.</p><p>Lance already came once and he’s got a lot left in him before he cums again. He’s going to give it all to Keith.</p><p>“Lance, it’s so much… it’s so much,” whines Keith.</p><p>“It’s okay, baby, you can take it,” says Lance, thrusting into him, giving that hole just a bit of abuse.</p><p>What he needs though is better access and these pants Keith’s wearing have to go. As soon as Lance pulls out, Keith flops forward to lean against the wall. That’s cute. He thinks he’s done. Not a chance. Keith clues into that soon enough as Lance squats to tug his pants down.</p><p>Even in the dim lighting, Lance can see how Keith’s hole is gaping and ready for more abuse. He playfully rubs a thumb across it. Keith’s whine is drowned out by a SCREAM from just beyond the curtain. </p><p>Such a perfect location to absolutely destroy Keith with no consequence of sound.</p><p>“This leg out,” instructs Lance, tugging the pants and underwear all the way down. Keith has to kick off his one Vans, but he gets his leg free.</p><p>Likely, Keith knows what Lance wants before he’s pushing into him again. Practically lifts up his own leg before Lance scoops an elbow underneath his knee pit and holds his leg up.</p><p>It’s… a little harder to hold this position than last time and Lance isn’t sure if he’s lost strength from not fucking Keith every which way for three months or if he’s just very hot in this little space.</p><p>Tiring or not, he won’t let up, won’t relent, won’t stop for any -</p><p>The curtain swings open. Lance reacts fast, having to drop Keith’s leg to throw it back shut.</p><p>“Occupied,” he yells.</p><p>“What?” says the voice of a coworker Lance doesn’t recognize.</p><p>“Find another way!” Lance yells, holding the curtain tightly closed.</p><p>Lance waits a beat. It’s hard to tell if they moved on because the music and screams are so loud. Finally he snaps and decides if they see an eyeful of cock in ass then they see an eyeful of cock in ass.</p><p>C’est la vie! Or rather, the afterlife.</p><p>One fluid motion has Lance plunging into Keith and lifting his leg back up.</p><p>“Fuuuuck, I missed your cock so damn much,” moans Keith.</p><p>“Wait… just now or since we, uh broke up?”</p><p>“Always,” says Keith, tossing his hair to look back at Lance. Then he presses his hands firmly to the wall and starts to rock himself back against Lance’s cock.</p><p>Lance is temporarily distracted by the warm feeling flooding his chest then feels the heat spreading from lower. Keith is fucking owning his cock right now so Lance reaches around front to pay him back in kind and jerk him off.</p><p>Soon Lance loses himself in the feeling. He bends his knees, drawing his hips back to thrust up into Keith, to take him as hard as Keith’s sensitive hole can manage.</p><p>“Ah - ah - ahhh,” cries Keith as Lance pounds into him.</p><p>His moans are so loud, drowning out the music and screams. Everything narrows to just the two of them, mid-fuck. Lance lets his voice out too. Lets himself moan and swear and grunt, expressing exactly how amazing Keith is with every rumble in his throat. </p><p>That gives way to dirty talk as he pumps quickly on Keith’s cock. “Fuck - so fucking good - missed you so fucking much - wanna fuck you raw - wanna give you all my cum - fuck - fuck - fuck…”</p><p>The louder Lance gets, the louder Keith gets and vice versa, until they’re both just wailing like they’re haunting the damn place for real.</p><p>Lance had always wanted to make Keith full out scream and he doesn’t know if it’s the fuck or the location or the double-jeopardy forbiddeness of it all, but he lets it out. Keith SCREAMS as he cums.</p><p>The sound sets Lance off cumming hard. Heat ripping through him as he pumps Keith’s ass full of cum. At the same time he feels Keith’s cum all over his fingers as he jerks him down off his orgasm.</p><p>Lance rides it out, not wanting to cut Keith off too quickly. Let’s his hips slowly wind down past the point where his cock becomes overly sensitive. It makes him shiver, but he doesn’t want to let go just yet.</p><p>What if this is all they have?</p><p>And that’s the one truly scary thing inside this haunted house: the realization that there’s no ‘them.’ And as much and Lance wishes there was still a ‘them,’ he doesn’t know what to say to bring Keith truly back to him.</p><p>They tidy up in silence though there’s nothing to tidy with. Keith pulls his pants back up and Lance gets a half chub at the thought of Keith dripping and leaking out his cum for the rest of the night.</p><p>“Here,” says Keith, pulling his gray hoodie off and handing it to Lance. “You lack a shirt.”</p><p>Lance lacks a boyfriend, but one isn’t so easily borrowed.</p><p>“Thanks,” he says, pulling it on over his bare chest. It’s crazy warm from Keith sweating into it while being fucked raw. “I didn’t know you were back in town.” Oh god… small talk… Has Lance sunk this low?</p><p>“I told you it was only a three month program,” says Keith.</p><p>“Yeah, but I thought… nevermind,” says Lance, shrinking in on himself. Suddenly he feels awful and not only because he’d just fucked on the job.</p><p>“What?” presses Keith.</p><p>“That you’d fall in love with New York and decide to stay or at the very least find some artsy boyfriend in your program and -”</p><p>“Lance,” says Keith, touching his cheek and turning Lance’s head to look him in the eye. “We went over these worries before I left. I told you that wouldn’t happen and it didn’t. So there. I guess at least win our fight even if I lost you.”</p><p>Suddenly Lance is welling up with tears. He hates this suddenly rush of emotion. “What was I supposed to think though? We’d only been dating two months and then you tell me you’re leaving for three?”</p><p>“Maybe it was a short time to be dating,” argues Keith, “but I’d already told you I loved you and I’d never told anyone that before!”</p><p>“You - you hadn’t?” Lance’s breath quickens. He hadn’t known he was the first person Keith had loved and he had never even been sure he was serious since he’d shouted his love confession at him when they’d been breaking up.</p><p>“No,” says Keith, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the wall.</p><p>“Keith, you should know that -” Lance is interrupted by the curtain being drawn back again. </p><p>“Oh, uh, Lance,” says Ina. “Was that you in here before?”</p><p>Lance shakes his head vigorously. “Must’ve been somebody else.” Movement behind him draws his eye. He turns to see the opposite curtain swing back into place. “Keith?”</p><p>He’d left. No, no, no, Lance had let him leave once already…</p><p>**********</p><p>As soon as Keith steps out, he’s assaulted by more actors screaming at him. The thing is Keith isn’t in the mood to react so he just stands there, wondering what his next move is.</p><p>There’s a SCREAM from behind him, but this time he recognizes it as Lance.</p><p>“You gotta scream first so they don’t scream at you,” says Lance, dropping a protective arm around Keith’s shoulders. “Then they know you work here.”</p><p>Keith doesn’t work here… but the advice is solid and it’s actually kinda fun, just screaming in the faces of anyone he comes across. Releases some tension that had built back up shortly after he’d released a hell of a lot of tension.</p><p>He isn’t sure where Lance is leading him so he says, “I have to find Pidge. I just disappeared on them.”</p><p>“I figured,” says Lance, leading Keith to an elevator. “This goes down to the basement laboratory where I’m supposed to be stationed. You can hunker down there and call Pidge.”</p><p>Guiding him to an exit would probably make more sense, but Keith tries not to hope that Lance is making an excuse to spend more time with him. As awkward as it’s become…</p><p>The elevator door rumbles open releasing another group of ticket holders from the inside. On instinct they both scream at them and they scream back and push past to run away.</p><p>Keith chuckles. Okay, this is fun.</p><p>The elevator clear, they step inside and… wait.</p><p>“Why don’t you…?” Keith gestures to the buttons.</p><p>“It’s actually triggered from downstairs,” says Lance then he adds, “Sorry. We have to wait.”</p><p>“That’s okay,” says Keith.</p><p>“Uh, happy birthday by the way,” says Lance.</p><p>Keith looks at him with surprise. “You actually remember?”</p><p>“Yeah, I did retain that information from when we were dating.”</p><p>“Thank you,” says Keith, quietly. This is a weird birthday.</p><p>The door rumbles shut finally. Keith almost says, ‘Thank god,’ out loud.</p><p>“How was New York, by the way?” asks Lance, awkward. “The arts program and all that?”</p><p>Keith can’t help but smile. “Amazing!” He says sincerely, but then the joy fades. “Though I missed you a lot.”</p><p>“Keith, I am so sorry,” says Lance, his voice welling with unexpected emotion. “This was such a big opportunity for you and I made it all about me and my abandonment issues. I should’ve just supported you and been excited for you instead I put a damper on your program and if there is anything I can do to begin to make it up to you, please let me know.”</p><p>“You can take me back.” Keith’s mouth moved on its own. Shit, shit, shit.</p><p>“You wanna get back together?” gasps Lance. “Even after?”</p><p>“I love you,” says Keith, speaking to his shoes. “Time apart didn’t change that.”</p><p>Keith doesn’t hold any hope. A hookup isn’t feelings. But then Lance’s hand finds his and he’s pulling him against his chest and kissing him.</p><p>Lance breaks off the kiss and whispers in Keith’s ear, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”</p><p>Keith actually feels his spirit sore out of his body. Lance loves him back? “I love you,” says Keith this time, looking Lance in the eye.</p><p>“I’m probably going to get fired because of you, but it’s only because I love you so much.”</p><p>The elevator creaks to a stop, the old doors rumble open. Keith doesn’t pull away from Lance, he’d happily go for another ride, but immediately there’s a group of people pushing into the elevator, laughing and shrieking.</p><p>Lance and Keith get broken apart and have to shove back in order to get off the elevator. </p><p>Keith doesn’t have a moment to take in the laboratory set in the basement, because wearing a mask and swinging a chainsaw comes running at him. Keith pulls the fake chainsaw out of their hands by the blade. It vibrates in his hand and continues to make the chainsaw sound effects. </p><p>“Hey Pidge,” he says casually.</p><p>Pidge pulls off their skull mask with the bunny ears and punches Keith on the arm. “Hey asshole! Way to ditch me!”</p><p>“You were the one who wanted to split up!”</p><p>“The paths led to the same place!”</p><p>“That never matters in horror movies!”</p><p>“Now that you’re here…” says a white haired woman in a lab coat and goggles, “you can become one of my creations!” Then she throws back her head and laughs.</p><p>“Hey Keith,” says one of the ‘creations’ from a cage on the far wall. He waves at him.</p><p>“Hey Hunk,” says Keith. “And you’re Allura, right?” he says, pointing at the white haired scientist.</p><p>She drops her arms and sighs. “Haven’t gotten the hang of this character just yet.” Then she looks at Lance and says, “I’d ask what took you so long but I believe that’s obvious.”</p><p>“It’s a good thing I recognized your ex-boyfriend’s friends,” says Pidge, “because then they told me Lance was messing with you and that’s why you disappeared.”</p><p>“So now you know I was right and I was witnessing an apparition?”</p><p>“I’ll admit to that,” says Pidge with a shrug then they put out their hand. “Now pay up the twenty dollars you owe me.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“Whoever screams first owes the other twenty bucks.”</p><p>“I didn’t scream,” says Keith. He looks at Lance who averts his eyes. “Wh - what makes you think I did?”</p><p>“We all heard you,” says Allura.</p><p>“Loud and clear,” says a man from a cage in the back.</p><p>“You don’t… know that was me,” says Keith, physically backing up.</p><p>“Could you really hear him from the second floor?” asks Lance.</p><p>“That was two floors up!” exclaims Allura. At the same time Pidge says, “Ha! Caught ya!” and Hunk says, “Those are some lungs for someone who is usually so soft spoken.”</p><p>Speaking of screams, there’s another from outside the room.</p><p>“Another group coming, get out of here,” says Allura, pushing Pidge then Keith along towards the elevator that has just swung open again.</p><p>Lance steals a kiss and says, “I’m out at midnight if I’m not fired earlier so I’ll text you where to meet.”</p><p>********</p><p>At midnight the fireworks start. Keith sits at a picnic table eating italian ice with Pidge and their older brothers. Keith hasn’t told them what happened inside the Haunted House beyond ‘we saw Lance there’ and he doesn’t intend to ever tell Shiro the full story (though Pidge keeps alluding to it and causing Shiro to give Keith curious glances.)</p><p>The italian ice feels good on his throat. It’s sore from all the screaming, but isn’t nearly as sore as his ass. He’s working on hiding that discomfort. The wet spot in his briefs is a more welcome reminder of how good Lance had filled him up.</p><p>Keith's leg jumps nervously under the table. He worries that what happened in the haunted house will stay in the haunted house and they aren’t really back together. That is until he hears a whistle and turns to see Lance waving at him, his friends in tow.</p><p>Lance stops a few feet from kissing distance. The three of them start to clap a rhythm as Lance sings, “My boofriend’s back and you’re gonna be in trouble!”</p><p>Hunk and Allura join in on vocals. They all snap their fingers and sing, “Hey-la-day-la my boofriends back!”</p><p>Pidge’s brother Matt claps his approval.</p><p>“You like that?” asks Lance, leaning down to kiss Keith. “We’ve been rehearsing it for an hour.”</p><p>“Wow, a whole hour?” asks Pidge, sarcastically.</p><p>Lance drops down into Keith’s lap and steals his cup of italian ice.</p><p>“Uh, nice to see you again, Lance,” says Shiro. He would definitely have something brotherly to say about Lance suddenly being back in Keith’s life if it weren’t for his birthday keeping Shiro on his best behaviour.</p><p>“Likewise,” says Lance, mouth full of cherry. He seems to completely miss Shiro’s apprehension. </p><p>“That looks good,” says Allura, dropping down between Shiro and Matt without being invited. “My throat is killing me from screaming all night.” She takes Shiro’s cup that’s sitting in front of him and helps herself to a spoonful.</p><p>“Have we met?” asks Shiro.</p><p>“Yeah, you remember me,” says Allura, scooping out another spoonful of raspberry.</p><p>“She’s my ex-girlfriend turned second best friend,” says Lance.</p><p>“Second in line to the throne,” says Allura, thickening up her British accent and bowing her head with a flourish of her hand.</p><p>Shiro looks at Keith and asks, “And this is okay with you?”</p><p>Keith shrugs. “She’s not eating my italian ice.”</p><p>“Oh! Good news!” says Allura, suddenly. “Did any of you see that girl dressed as Harley Quinn come through?”</p><p>“I saw about forty girls dressed as Harley Quinn come through,” says Lance.</p><p>“There was a cute blond with the pigtails dressed as Harley Quinn.”</p><p>“That’s still describing every single Harley Quinn.”</p><p>Allura sighs. “Well, I got a Harley Quinn’s phone number!”</p><p>“Lucky,” says Matt, “Can I have it?”</p><p>Allura looks at him and narrows her eyes. “What will you give me for it?”</p><p>“The rest of my italian ice,” says Matt, offering her his half empty cup.</p><p>Allura twists up her mouth then shakes her head no. “I’d rather have a girlfriend.”</p><p>Matt sighs and digs his spoon into his italian ice. “Me too.”</p><p>Hunk returns to the group with a tray of drinks and sings, “Hunk is back and brought some hot tea!”</p><p>In response Allura, Lance, and Matt sing, “Hey-la-day-la Hunk is back!”</p><p>“You guys sing a lot,” says Pidge.</p><p>“Accurate,” says Lance.</p><p>Hunk sits down on the end of the bench and hands out the tea to Lance and Allura. Keith takes Lance’s cup since his boyfriend stole his italian ice. The tea has lots of lemon and honey in it so it soothes his throat too. </p><p>Keith feels really content. Lance keeps giving him kisses on the cheek and nuzzles while the rest of the table looks up at the fireworks.</p><p>“I feel like we’re getting the band back together,” says Lance, looking around at their table of friends.</p><p>“Weirdly does,” agrees Keith then he lowers his voice and whispers, “Hey, so I take it you didn’t get fired?”</p><p>“Oh no, I very much got fired,” says Lance. “They have cameras all over and while fortunately they didn’t actually catch us doing anything, everyone heard us. Like everyone. The other sounds in the house were not drowning us out like I thought.”</p><p>“Shit. I’m sorry,” says Keith.</p><p>“You should be sorry,” says Lance with a sly grin. “You showed up at my work and blew up my life.”</p><p>Keith smirks. “Destruction is a form of creativity.”</p><p>“Alright, reign it in, Darko,” says Lance.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! If you have another alternative title suggestion, leave it in the comments!</p><p>You can follow me on twitter @bangbangbeefke1</p><p>xoxoxBBBK</p></blockquote></div></div>
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